Monday, July 9, 2012

Back at it...

....I have less than 2 weeks till I say "I do" or I will, or whatever it is that I wrote into my vows ;).  And Thank the Good Lord! that it's not more.  I'm so sick of wedding stuff, and all the stress it entails, I could yak.  The next time DD and I get married, we're eloping.  JK. 

So after a less than relaxing trip up North for a "vacation" (that's a whole other post), I'm back at finishing up the last details.  And I keep going back in my head to a little funny DD said the other day.  It involved me and a squirt gun.  We had been on my neighbors porch the other night and DD and I had just missed a very spirited discussion about politics between two of our neighbors.  I told them I was going to get one of the kids squirt guns out if they kept it up.  Somehow it morphed (via DD) into me having a squirt gun at the wedding if people got out of line. 

So now in my head, when I need a little chuckle, I picture me, in my wedding dress, all gussied up, with the biggest super soaker made, strapped to my back.  Anyone gets lippy, or starts complaining about something, all I have to do is reach over my shoulder, grab my water gun and BAM! they get a good squirt of water.  (Think Princess Vespa in Spaceballs, in her wedding dress, gun in hand, after she blows the smoke out of her (yes I know) real gun after she blows down a bunch of clones - I promise I would only use a water gun ;) )

This makes me chuckle.  It possibly might keep me sane in the next two weeks. 

Good day all.  I'm going to call my seamstress and see if my dress is done.  I wonder if it's too late to sew in a holster???

Thanks Natalie for the pic!

Sunday, July 8, 2012

20 Things a mother should tell her son

OK, so just for the record, I didn't write a single word of the following "20 Things", but it was so well written, I HAD to repost it!. Great job Wedyab!

1. You will set the tone for the sexual relationship, so don't take something away from her that you can't give back.

2. Play a sport. It will teach you how to win honorably, lose gracefully, respect authority, work with others, manage your time and stay out of trouble. And maybe even throw or catch.

3. Use careful aim when you pee. Somebody's got to clean that up, you know.

4. Save money when you're young because you're going to need it some day.

5. Allow me to introduce you to the dishwasher, oven, washing machine, iron, vacuum, mop and broom. Now please go use them.

6. Pray and be a spiritual leader.

7. Don't ever be a bully and don't ever start a fight, but if some idiot clocks you, please defend yourself.

8. Your knowledge and education is something that nobody can take away from you.

9. Treat women kindly. Forever is a long time to live alone and it's even longer to live with somebody who hates your guts.

10. Take pride in your appearance.

11. Be strong and tender at the same time.

12. A woman can do everything that you can do. This includes her having a successful career and you changing diapers at 3 A.M. Mutual respect is the key to a good relationship.

13. "Yes ma'am" and "yes sir" still go a long way.

14. The reason that they're called "private parts" is because they're "private". Please do not scratch them in public.

15. Peer pressure is a scary thing. Be a good leader and others will follow.

16. Bringing her flowers for no reason is always a good idea.

17. Be patriotic.

18. Potty humor isn't the only thing that's humorous.

19. Please choose your spouse wisely. My daughter-in-law will be the gatekeeper for me spending time with you and my grandchildren.

20. Remember to call your mother because I might be missing you.