Whines and Thankfulness

     Today's post is brought to you by the letter C for "cold", as in the cold my lovelies have given me.  I have been battling this cold since Saturday-ish, and thought I was on the uptick till I woke up this morning.  I had even set my alarm to get up and go to the gym this morning. 

     Yeah, that didn't happen.  I woke up feeling like a truck hit me.  Shut off my alarm and went back to sleep (thankfully).  Woke back up an hour later with the kids, made DD his breakfast sandwich, poured some Honey Nut Cheerios for the rest of us, then plopped down on the couch.  (I set up my little nest before I plopped).

     So here's my whine.  I am SO TIRED OF GETTING SICK FROM MY KIDS.  I feel like I have been sick more than I have been healthy this winter.  I thought my secret weapon of drinking Emergen-C every day would help me fend off the germies like it seemed to last year.  Yeah, either it was a happy stroke of luck and coincidence, or they're making it different this year.  Is it possible that I seems to have these lovely colds longer than my children do???  I swear it feels like I do.  Every cold I get seems to sign a long term lease with my sinuses.  I feel better than I did earlier this morning, but if I move around too much, I get that overwhelming I feel like yuck feeling.

    I was supposed to get the house clean today.   I had talked about lunch with a friend.  This cold did not get my memo apparently.

     OK, now my list of Thankfulness.  

• I am thankful my job allows me to still be in my jammies.
• I am thankful no one in this house cares they are still in their jammies.
• I am thankful I save back toys after each Christmas and bdays to pull out on days like today (thanks sis - the block/crayons are a big hit with both of them!).
• I am thankful my kids play together so well.
• I am thankful for my humidifier and liquid Vicks (generic of course)
• I am thankful I have leftovers both for lunch and for dinner tonight.
• I am thankful it will be nap time soon enough.
• I am thankful for PBS and Disney Jr.
• I am thankful for the time to (hopefully) work on my Sunday Evenings at Grace stuff and/or read some.

Being Real 2/26

    So I just read an interesting article that spoke to me in a way I was surprised at. I must admit "What I Learned from my 46 day beer fast" sounds more like a college frat movie than an introspection on seeking help from God, but it was.  And it made me think on my own journey.  I have two goals/fasts this Lenten Journey: no alcohol and a daily devotion.  So far I'm batting .500.

    The first day (Ash Wednesday) was no problem, even when Andy opened a bottle of wine with dinner.  It smelled good.  It would have tasted good with the meal, but I had no problem declining, or having it on the table in front of me.  (Hopefully this should help ease the minds of those concerned that I might need to find a local A.A.)   But I have to say, every day since then I have wanted something.  Anything.  Now I swear this isn't a disease talking, I'm certain this is human nature (the devil maybe?) talking.  I was told (by myself) that I couldn't have something, and now I want it.  The habits I see in my kids, and their cousins/friends/other little kids continues on into adulthood.  You told me I can't have it.  And even though I didn't want it before, now I do.  Just because.

     But the cool thing that I've discovered (again) is that a quick little prayer helps.  Almost immediately, amazingly enough.  And as I read the article, I see a little more clearly why my fast is good for my relationship with God.   "In order to refocus on God, [monks] engaged this annual practice not only to endure sacrifice, but to stress and rediscover their own shortcomings in an effort to continually refine themselves." 

     (Here's my light bulb for today).  I am weak without God.  But with Him, all things are possible.  This fast is not meant to deprive myself, but to remind me how much easier things are with Him.  This excites me.  It comforts me.  My Father is there to help me and take care of me.  He loves me and only wants the best for me, just as I only want the best for my children (this is very relatable to me).  He wants me to ask for help.  He wants me to come to Him with everything.

    Now I see I need to ask His help in my daily devotion.  I managed to get last Wednesday in, but haven't been back since.  I could give you a list of reasons why, some more valid than others, but mostly I will say, quite frankly, I am weak.  I need His help.  I see even more clearly now.

Dear God, HELP, love me.

I will leave you with this song Prince of Darkness by the Nylons....it popped into my head when I was writing this.  I love it, and it seems VERY appropriate at the moment.  (The video's not great - here are the lyrics jic)

Study on

Our church is focusing on the Habit of Study of God's Word. Starting tomorrow, there will be a few bible verses each day to read, then think on and journal on. If you are/were like me, when I started going back to church and wanted to get a Bible (other than the gold one I got when I was in parochial school - which would totally work, btw) I did go buy one, but now I use one on my phone.  On YouVersion you download an app to your phone (and/or follow it online) and get like almost every version of the bible out there (New King James, The Message Contemporary Living Version, etc). I like being able to easily flip between different version when a verse has me stumped. You can download reading plans (there are other Lent plans on You Version as well), you can listen to it on your phone (which I love for the gym). It's awesome.

Anyway, here's the reading plan for Lent from my church.  Study on :)

Here are perhaps three things you could journal when you read the verses: My observations, My response, and My questions.

Ash Wednesday (with downloadable journal pages)

Feb 22 Joel 2:1-2, 12-17

Feb 23 Psalm 51

Feb 24 2nd Corinthians 5:20 - 6:10

Feb 25 Matthew 6: 1-6, 16-21

First Week of Lent (with downloadable pages)

Feb 26 Genesis 9:8-17

Feb 27 Genesis 5:28-6:18

Feb 28 Genesis 6:11-22

Feb 29 Genesis 7: 1-24

March 1 Genesis 8: 1-12

March 2 Genesis 9:1-7

March 3 1 Peter 3:13-22

Second Week of Lent

March 4 Genesis 17: 1-7, 15

March 5 Genesis 12: 1-9

March 6 Genesis 13: 2-18

March 7 Genesis 15: 1-21

March 8 Genesis 16: 1-16

March 9 Genesis 18: 1 -15

March 10 Genesis 21: 1-7, 22: 1-19

Third Week of Lent

March 11 Exodus 20: 1-17

March 12 Exodus 2: 1-24

March 13 Exodus 6: 1-9

March 14 Exodus 16: 1-35

March 15 Exodus 19: 1-5

March 16 Exodus 23: 20 -33

March 17 Exodus 24: 1- 18

Fourth Week of Lent

March 18 Numbers 21: 4-9

March 19 Numbers 20: 1-13

March 20 Exodus 32: 1-34

March 21 Exodus 34: 1-10

March 22 Numbers 13: 1-3, 17- 32, 14: 1-12, 19-24

March 23 Deuteronomy 4: 5-20

March 24 Deuteronomy 4: 32-40

Fifth Week of Lent

March 25 Jeremiah 31: 31 -34

March 26 Ezekiel 36: 22-32

March 27 Ezekiel 37: 1-14

March 28 Luke 22: 14 - 23

March 29 Romans 2: 1-16

March 30 Hebrews 8 1-13

March 31 Hebrews 10: 11-25

Holy Week/Palm Sunday

April 1 Mark 11: 1-11

April 2 Mark 11: 12 -19

April 3 Mark 11: 20-12:27

April 4 Mark 12: 28 - 44

Maundy Thursday

April 5 Mark 14: 12-42

Good Friday

April 6 Mark 14: 43 - 15: 39

April 7 Mark 14: 42 - 47

Easter

April 8 Mark 16: 1 - 20

40 days and 40 nights

After reading, Backtrack and Back on Track on another friend's blog, The Mother Load, it makes me contemplate a journey I have decided to embark on myself.  A 40 day cleanse of mind and body which will be happening during Lent (which is the 46 days from Ash Wednesday to Holy Saturday -  The six Sundays in Lent are not counted among the forty days of lent because each Sunday represents a "mini-Easter", a celebration of Jesus' victory over sin and death. Source  Jesus spent 40 days in the desert fasting before he began his public ministry.  Source ). 

I grew up Catholic,went (forcefully) to church every week and every holiday, went to a Catholic elementary school, went to CCD (or catechism, religion classes as some call it - I actually didn't know what CCD stood for till just now.), got confirmed.  You know all the good stuff.  When I was younger I would give up things for Lent because, well that's what I was told to do. 

When I was older, even as young as high school (maybe even younger???), I think is when I stopped giving stuff up for Lent, probably mostly because I don't like being told what to do for no good reason.  I never felt a good enough reason for WHY I was doing it.  So sassy little me didn't give up a single thing till last year. (The year before last I was pregnant, and figured I was giving up enough! :0)  But last year I felt very convicted to want to give something up for Lent.  I gave up wine.  For me, it was the one thing I really didn't want to give up.  So it seemed the logical choice to give up.  (It was the one thing I really missed each time I was pregnant.)  When asked by some of my friends who didn't fully, or at all, understand my decision, I explained it like this.  Jesus gave up His life, in a terrible awful way, for ME, to give ME, eternal life.  When you look at it that way, 40 (or 46 days) doesn't seem like that much in return.  And (this part I didn't say, because their eyes were already glazing over), the best part of about God, I didn't need to do this to get my Golden ticket, but it's a darn good reminder of what was sacrificed for little ol' me.  What an amazing gift Grace is. :)

These glasses make me chuckle.

So on to this year.  I have decided to give up alcohol in general. (Some of you may be gasping).  I fully admit, I'm full up on antioxidants from drinking red wine, and the Captain and I are on very good speaking terms.  I have only told one person about this yet - my little sister - only because it seemed a natural part of the conversation (did I mention we were enjoying wine at the time ;).  I don't feel it's necessary to tell every person I know I'm giving up the goods, as I don't want to appear like a Pharisee (yes I realize this blog could reach 10's of people, but isn't that what blogs are for? to get the swirl of thoughts in your brain OUT of your brain?).  I have a family gathering in March and I know people will automatically assume I am pregnant when I don't drink.  And I suppose I should tell Andy so he doesn't bring home a yummy bottle expecting me to enjoy it with him.  But whatever.  I have to admit when I was first contemplating this, I wondered if I was doing it for the right reasons.  On top of the giving up part, I am really looking forward to the health benefits of not consuming all those empty calories...and maybe I'll actually start realizing the fitness goals I have.  Sometimes it makes me wonder am I being selfish in my giving up alcohol?  Am I giving it up for the right reasons?   But as Wednesday draws near, I'm starting to think about not enjoying a glass of wine with dinner,  and it doesn't make me jump for joy.  So I think I'm in the clear???  So this is the cleansing of the body.

I also plan to participate in a "Lenten Journey" at my church.  It's a 40 day study.  I have started, then stopped, studying the Bible more times than I'd care to admit.  Will I continue to study EVERY day after Lent is over?  I don't know.  Let's see how committing to study every day for 40 days works out first.  I really do enjoy learning and growing when I stick to it.  Then life always seems to get in the way.  Or I let life get in the way.  We all have the same 24 hours in a day to work with.  I admit, some days, I could be more productive with mine.  So 40 (46) days of study.  The cleansing of the mind.

This should be an interesting 40 days and 40 nights.

PS.  As I just got done disciplining Thing One, for the same issue we have talked about over, and over, and over..... this could be a very long 40 days and 40 nights............Cheers!